When the Nightmares Keep Coming Back

By the BananaBook team

In short: nightmares, between ages 3 and 6, are common and passing — a sign of an imagination growing faster than the ability to untangle what's real. There's no single recipe for easing them; what comes up again and again is that a bad dream loses its power once it can be revisited the next day, in daylight, as a story you can change.

Awake at 3 a.m., the same dream again.

A nightmare isn't a sign that something is wrong. Between three and six, a child's imagination grows faster than their ability to tell what's real, and the night is where the two meet. Most children go through a stretch of bad dreams. It passes.

At night, a child who wakes isn't after an explanation — they're after someone. That's probably the one thing we can be fairly sure of. The rest — staying a while or not, talking about the dream or letting it go, turning the lamp back on — every child, every family answers in their own way, and no one knows yours better than you.

What does come up often, though, is that a nightmare shrinks once it can be told the next day, in daylight. A bad dream is a story — and a story can be changed. You might wonder what the monster itself was afraid of. Give it a ridiculous name. Draw it, then draw it tiny.

The real shift is from being chased to being in charge. A child who has a plan — a word to say, a friend who arrives, a creature that eats bad dreams — often carries it into sleep. The monster gives chase as long as it stays hidden in the dark; it's far less frightening the day it becomes a character.

That's exactly what a story can do. In [The Nightmare Eater](→ book link), the little monster under the bed is, deep down, even more frightened than the child — and the scary thing is settled on the page, calmly, before it has to be at 3 a.m.

And if nightmares come almost every night for several weeks, or if a child starts to dread bedtime, mentioning it to your paediatrician can help. Not because something is wrong — usually all is well — but because sleep is worth watching over.

Frequently asked questions

Why do children have nightmares?
Between 3 and 6, imagination grows faster than the ability to tell real from imagined. Most children go through a stretch of bad dreams — it's common and passing.

Is there a "right" way to react at night?
No single recipe. What comes up often is that a waking child is first looking for a presence; the rest depends on them, and on you.

What helps a child feel less afraid?
Many families notice that a nightmare loses its power once it can be revisited the next day as a story: naming it, drawing it, making it ridiculous.

When should I speak to a professional?
If nightmares return almost every night for several weeks, or if the child dreads bedtime, your paediatrician is the right person to ask.